To Achieve The Bacon Face & Body Look:

Face in a Deep Fryer for 30 Seconds.  Then you smother your face on a grill alongside a bacon & egg sandwich for a full 2 minutes.  Lastly you find your closest nuclear power plant and lay next to it for 3 months until you are mutanized with radiation.

The Aftermath Of His Cosmetic Hell Experiment:

He developed a neverending “Zit Planet” between his eyes that squirts puss upon facial expressions.  He found a girlfriend in Seaside Heights that really thought his look was hot.  She dumped him upon his completed transition into “An Insect Mutant” that vomits acid.

The Secret He’s Been Hiding:

The Movie “The Fly” was his favorite as a child.